Love is Never Silent
by Sailor Elysia
Summary: Usagi has secrets that no one else knows -- but for once, Mamoru wants to be the one that she confides in. Will he ever get a chance?
1. one

This is something I began over a year ago. Unfortunately, writers block took hold of the reins on  
it and I haven't worked on it much. Perhaps it's not the most EMSiT waffy/taffy or what have you  
fic, but I still have a trick or two up my sleeve.... Enjoy!  
  
Love is Never Silent  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
"So, where's the odangoed one?" Mamoru smirked as the four girls came into the arcade one  
afternoon. Normally she tagged along with the group of girls, but today, she was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Makoto answered first. "I think she said something about helping her brother at his softball game  
today, and then she'd join us later. Why do you ask, Mamoru-san?"  
  
"Only because I haven't heard any wailing for food or screaming at the video games. I just  
assumed she would be here by now."  
  
"Well, you know what assuming does, Mamoru-san. It makes a donkey out of you and me,"  
Minako added emphatically.  
  
Ami, Rei and Mako simultaneously sweatdropped. "I've got to teach you the correct way to  
say those American phrases, Minako-chan, or else no one will ever understand a thing you  
say," Rei pointed out, turning back to Mamoru with a suspicious grin on her face and a glint in  
her eye. "Should we tell Usagi that you were looking for her?"  
  
His eyes widened and he turned away before Rei could see an embarrassed blush appear on  
his face. "Why would I be looking for Odango Atama on purpose? If you do tell her anything,  
just say I wanted to 'compliment' her on her last test score," he fibbed, hoping it was a good  
enough excuse.  
  
"Whatever you say, Mamoru-san," Rei replied. "Like anyone--even Usagi--is going to believe  
THAT." Mamoru swallowed the lump in his throat and took another swig of his hot chocolate,  
letting the sweet taste drizzle down his throat.  
  
The peaceful moment was shattered by a young blonde girl bounding through the doors, cheering  
at the top of her lungs. "He did it! My brother won his first baseball game!" Usagi gushed as she  
joined her friends in the booth. "I'm so proud of him!"  
  
"Do you think the whole world cares if your brother won a silly game, Odango? Things like that  
happen all the time. Try to keep the noise down, or you might break a glass or two," Mamoru  
said dryly from his place at the counter.  
  
Usagi scowled. "Something like this doesn't happen all the time with my brother. You're the only  
one who doesn't care, baka. So just go back to minding your own business and tuning me out  
since you're so good at it."  
  
Mamoru did just that, though he flinched at her words. If only he had his own business to mind...

* * *

"Oh no, I've been here much too long! I should have been home hours ago!" Usagi wailed loudly,  
getting up from the booth and gathering all her belongings into her bag. Mumbling a hurried  
goodbye to her friends, she turned to leave, but someone blocked her path.  
  
"I'm surprised you're going home now. I thought you would stay here until Motoki had to lock  
the doors, Odango," Mamoru smirked. Usagi glared at the man standing in her way, looked  
down at her feet, then back up at him. "Then obviously you don't know me as well as you  
thought, Mamoru-san." She pushed by him to get to the front door.  
  
"Odango Atama being serious? Where's a camera when you need one? This moment's too  
priceless to forget!"  
  
Just as she was about to push the glass door open, Usagi whirled around, a sad look reflected  
in her blue eyes. "You know, Mamoru-san, for the high and mighty high school senior you appear  
to be, sometimes you can be really dense." Without another word, she shoved the door open and  
disappeared into the night.  
  
Mamoru stood there and watched her leave, stunned by her answer. That wasn't the easy-going  
klutz of a girl that he knew. He turned back and looked at Usagi's four friends still sitting in their  
booth, discussing the previous scene. "What was that all about?" he asked them. Usagi had never  
talked to him that way, and he was determined to find out what had set her off.  
  
The girls exchanged glances, then Ami softly spoke up. "There's a few things you don't know  
about Usagi-chan."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
More looks were exchanged. "Have a seat, Mamoru-san," Minako replied, scooting closer to  
Rei to make room for him in the booth. "This might take a while."

* * *

attempts an evil laugh but ends up coughing So, what is Usagi hiding? You'll just have to wait and see! Remember, email is an author's best friend, and it also feeds us quite well... imitates Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors FEED ME, READERS, FEEEEEED MEEEEE! 


	2. two

Besides my attempts to be evil, I'm also well known for my impatience, which includes not  
waiting very long to post more chapters. After that flop of a first part (I KNEW I should have  
made it longer....) this will certainly make up for that. Again I say, ENJOY!  
  
Love is Never Silent 2/7  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
Nearly an hour had passed since Mamoru left the cafe. The girls had done most of the talking,  
leaving him a lot to think about, his thoughts usually coming back to the way he had treated  
Usagi without knowing why.  
  
Right now, Mamoru was following his instincts, not caring where it led him tonight. Stuffing his  
hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket, he looked up as the frosty autumn air swirled  
around him.  
  
Glancing at his surroundings, Mamoru's face lit up with a grin as he recognized where he was.  
He was facing one of his favorite places, the large stone bridge across the street from Jyuban  
Park, one of his usual spots to sit and gaze out onto the city.  
  
Tonight, however, someone else had beaten him to his spot. It was a place in the wall where a  
large stone had fallen out long ago and made the perfect seat overlooking the river. With only the  
dim street lamp to light his vision, he squinted slightly from his end of the bridge.  
  
Mamoru immediately realized who it was. Funny how he always managed to run into her without  
even trying. He broke into a light jog and was at her side in a matter of minutes. "Hey, Odango  
Atama, don't you think it's past your bedtime?" he grinned, hoping to get one of her usual wailing  
reactions.  
  
He was wrong again. Usagi didn't budge from her position, just stared at the raging river beneath  
her. "What's it to you, Mamoru-san? You never cared before." She glanced at him momentarily,  
then turned away again. "Do you purposely follow me around so you can torture me every  
chance you get?"  
  
Mamoru stared down at the girl nestled between the stones. Something was wrong, really wrong.  
Usagi never acted this way towards him, not even when he had teased her to no end. It just  
wasn't like her. He had reason to believe that it had something to do with what the girls told him  
earlier.  
  
He pulled himself up onto the wall of the bridge, where he could easily look down at her.  
"Usagi-chan," he began, choosing his words carefully, "Minako and the others told me something  
about you after you left the cafe." He sighed softly. "About your brother and all."  
  
She finally looked up into his eyes. "You could have asked me about it instead, you know."  
  
"That's true, but with the way you and I talk, would you really have come right out and told me  
everything?"  
  
Usagi's expression didn't change. "I guess you have a point." Absently playing with one of her  
ponytails, she looked off in the direction of the river again, the dim streetlight illuminating her  
features. "And now I suppose you want to hear the whole story, because there are some things  
even the girls don't know." Stretching her legs, Usagi glanced at her watch and stood. "Do you  
mind if we walk?" Mamoru shook his head and fell into step beside Usagi as she began her story.  
  
"I was three when my brother Shingo was born. My parents--especially my father--were  
overjoyed that they finally had a son. Oh, they loved me, of course, but you could see the smiles  
light up their faces when they showed him off to friends and family. That's just the way it was for a  
while.  
  
"Shingo was a naturally happy baby, and I'm sure my parents were content with that, cause  
everyone knows that I wasn't exactly the most quiet or easy to please. There were times when I  
couldn't stand him, but what can you expect from a three-year-old who discovers her  
eight-month-old brother teething on her favorite doll?" Mamoru chuckled softly and Usagi giggled  
too, the first smile out of her all night. "Even though there were times I wanted to send him back,  
I still loved him dearly.  
  
"When Shingo was just over a year old, and I was about to enter my first year of primary school,  
my mother took us both to the doctor to get our shots. Simple thing, really, even though I still hate  
the sight of needles to this day." She sighed deeply. "Everything seemed fine when it came to  
Shingo's turn. A little wailing from him, quiet reassuring from my mom and the doctor. We had no  
clue that our lives were about to change dramatically."  
  
Usagi stopped suddenly and turned around to look at Mamoru, her eyes clouding over with  
doubt. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It's not like you care or anything. You'll just  
use this as something else to tease me about, I'm sure."  
  
Reaching out and grabbing her arm gently, Mamoru stared down at her. "That's not true. I want  
to know, Usagi-chan. I want to care."  
  
Her eyes widened, and as she searched his deep blue eyes, she found a new emotion in them that  
she never thought possible for Mamoru to possess: compassion. He was telling the truth. Maybe  
he really did want to care. His gaze was so intense that she had to turn away before he caught  
sight of the faint blush on her cheeks. "You want to hear more?" she asked ever so softly.  
  
Removing his hand from her arm, Mamoru brought his hand up, and tilted her chin up so she was  
looking him in the eye again. "Please," he replied simply.  
  
Usagi shivered, unsure if it was the autumn breeze blowing through her thin school uniform, or her  
emotions betraying her. Why would Mamoru, of all people, suddenly want to know more about  
her personal life? To her, it seemed that all he lived for was the chance to tease her day after day.  
  
Shoving her mixed emotions aside, Usagi continued walking, staring at the sidewalk as she spoke.  
"We weren't aware of anything peculiar until six months had gone by. Suddenly, Shingo began  
complaining of earaches and he was always getting sick, more so than usual. My mother didn't  
notice he was running a high fever until some time after that."  
  
She stopped and sighed again, and passed a hand over her face to wipe away stray tears. "We  
were too late to reverse the damage. The earaches led to my little brother losing most of his  
hearing. And it's been that way ever since."  
  
She was openly crying now. Mamoru pulled the sobbing girl into his strong embrace, not knowing  
what else to do to comfort her. Usagi buried her face in his shoulder, clinging onto his solid frame  
for support.  
  
After a few moments, she backed away from Mamoru, embarrassed for showing so much raw  
emotion in front of him. "Sorry," she replied, wiping away the last remains of her tears, "I promise  
I don't do that very often."  
  
Placing a hand on her back to turn her around, Mamoru responded, "Seems to me that you don't  
do it often enough." Usagi looked up at Mamoru with a small smile of gratitude, and they walked  
the rest of the way in silence.  
  
When they finally reached her house, she turned to him and replied, "I guess I should thank you  
for walking me home. It isn't everyday that someone has been willing to listen to me talk for so  
long." Usagi turned back to open her front door, but Mamoru's hand on her upper arm stopped  
her.  
  
"Usagi-chan," he said in a low voice, "I'd like to meet your brother sometime."  
  
She immediately shook her head no. "I don't think that's a very good idea."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She shrugged. "How do I know that you'll treat my family with the respect they deserve? I hate to  
say it, but I'm not sure I completely trust you yet. I mean, one night of you listening to me without  
interrupting or calling me by that annoying nickname of yours is not exactly enough for me to  
suddenly accept you into my life." Her gaze softened slightly. "You do understand, don't you?"  
  
Mamoru stared down at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion, but then he caught on. She was  
right. After all he had said and done to Usagi in the past, what proof could he give to make her  
believe he all of a sudden wanted to be friends with her now?  
  
Finally he nodded. "I think I understand, Usagi-chan. Whenever you're ready to let me in, I'll be  
waiting. But you can always talk to me. I've been told I'm a pretty good listener."  
  
Scrunching up her nose, Usagi responded, "You mean, like a friend?"  
  
Mamoru shoved a hand into his pocket and shrugged. "I guess so."  
  
"So if we're friends, then you won't call me names anymore, right?" she replied with a hopeful  
grin.  
  
A mischievous smile played across Mamoru's face. "That's where you're wrong, Odango Atama."  
  
Stamping her foot in frustration, Usagi slugged him lightly in the arm. "C'mon, Mamoru-san," she  
whined, "it's so unfair. Why do you have to be so mean?"  
  
He laughed out loud. "Now that sounds like the Usagi-chan I know. Good night," he called out,  
as he walked back out to the street, and she slipped inside her house.  
  
During the next week, Mamoru tried his best to be patient and wait for Usagi to open up to him,  
but as he discovered, patience wasn't one of those virtues he was blessed with.  
  
It had been a total surprise to Mamoru--shock was the better word for it--that Usagi had been  
keeping this burden all to herself for so long. How on earth did she manage it? One moment she  
was cheerful as ever, and then the next moment, she looked as if the world was about to end. He  
just couldn't understand it.  
  
Walking into the arcade one afternoon, he called out a quick hello to Motoki, then scanned the  
arcade for a certain odango atama because he had a feeling she would be there. Sure enough,  
there she was, staring adamantly at the video screen, intent on getting to the next level.  
  
"So when do I get to meet your family?" he asked as he walked up from behind her. She moaned  
in frustration as she lost the game just before advancing to the next level.  
  
Swiveling around on the stool, Usagi glared at the dark-haired young man staring back at her.  
"Well, for starters, sneaking up like that will get you nowhere, and secondly there are other  
reasons--which I'd rather not discuss right now--why I won't tell you everything. So you might as  
well give up now, Mamoru-san. You're not going to get your way this time." With that, Usagi  
stood up and stormed out of the arcade.  
  
Realizing that this was going to be much harder than he thought at first, Mamoru ran after her,  
determined to find a way to break through the stone wall around her heart.

* * *

so... will Mamoru get what he want? maybe you'll find out... maybe not. I'm currently at home  
right now (the screaming banshees drove me over the edge and I couldn't stand it any longer)  
so Ely's a little grouchy right now. Perhaps feedback would cheer her up! 


	3. three

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the great feedback on this on EMSiT Day. You made  
me feel so good! And second, to Stef who continues to threaten, suck up and beg... how can I  
say no to that?  
  
Love is Never Silent 3/7  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
Usagi stopped beneath the weeping willow at the edge of Juuban Park. She huffed angrily and  
stomped her foot, annoyed that Mamoru was being so persistent to pry into her personal life.  
Why wouldn't he just go away?  
  
Her head came up and she noticed a tall figure across the street, making a beeline straight for her.  
"Speak of the devil," she muttered and rolled her eyes. When Mamoru was within hearing range,  
Usagi called out, "I don't know why you bother to keep trying."  
  
Coming to where she was under the tree, he stopped and stood in front of Usagi, reached out,  
held her arms firmly to her side and looked her in the eye. "Let's get one thing straight, Usagi. I  
never give up, no matter what it takes. I've been trying to be patient while I wait for you to open  
up to me, but my patience has worn thin with the way you keep brushing me off. I won't give up."  
  
Mamoru removed his grip and dropped his gaze from hers. "I thought we were friends now.  
Aren't friends supposed to tell each other what's on their mind? Why does your brother being  
deaf seem to bother you so much?"  
  
Usagi whipped around wildly and shushed him, looking for any one who might be listening in on  
the conversation. "Jeez, not so loud! The whole world doesn't need to know!"  
  
Throwing up his hands in the air, Mamoru sighed in exasperation. "That's just it. Do you think that  
I, or anyone else would think less of you and your family just because of your little brother? If  
anything, that makes him all the more special. I know that you love him by the way you stick up  
for him. I can only imagine that he's extremely proud to have you for a sister."  
  
At that moment, something remarkable happened. Usagi's stone façade crumbled, and it wasn't  
long before the sobs started and the tears began flowing. "You're right," she sniffed. "Why do you  
always have to be right?" She slid down the trunk of the tree, and leaned back against the rough  
bark, hugging her knees close to her body. "He's taught me so much, and I want to share that  
with everyone, but I don't know how."  
  
Mamoru crouched down, trying to give her a little support. Usagi wiped the tears from her face.  
"I guess the reasons for my actions are mainly because of my father. As my mother and I learned  
to understand Shingo, my father was just the opposite. He went into a state of deep denial,  
refusing to believe that this had happened to his only son."  
  
Usagi sighed deeply as her sobbing subsided. "Sometimes I think that he goes back into that state  
every once in a while. My father acts as if nothing is wrong with Shingo, and insists on speaking  
to him, while the three of us are used to signing. He'll just ignore whatever Shingo signs until he  
says it out loud. I hate it when he does that. Sometimes he makes me so angry."  
  
Mamoru turned away for a moment, and stared at his hands. Then he looked up. "Usagi-chan...  
well, that is... would you teach me to sign?"  
  
Usagi gasped. "You mean, you'd actually like to learn?"  
  
He nodded. "If you ever give me a chance to meet your brother, I'd like to know how to talk to  
him."  
  
With widened eyes, Usagi stared at the young man sitting next to her, discovering something new  
about him every time they were together. "All right, Mamoru-san. If you really want to learn to  
sign, I'll teach you. Meet me here tomorrow afternoon."

* * *

Mamoru was surprised to find Usagi waiting for him at their designated waiting place the next  
afternoon, but then again, a lot of things Usagi had done lately were surprising. Crossing the  
street, he waved to the pig-tailed blonde sitting beneath the shade of the large oak tree, with a  
small stack of books at her side.  
  
"Have you been waiting long?" he asked as he sat down on the soft grass beside Usagi. She  
shrugged. "I got out of school early today, so I just came straight here." She pointed to the books  
lying on her school bag. "I needed some extra help, since it's been so long since I've had to teach  
sign. You sure you still want to learn?"  
  
Mamoru nodded eagerly. "Where do we start?"  
  
Shoving the books aside, Usagi shifted into a more comfortable position and turned to face  
Mamoru. "Simple. The basis of any language is the alphabet, right? It's the same with signing.  
Most signs require finger-spelling, so this will come in very handy to you until you become more  
advanced. You can say just about anything if you know how to finger-spell." She held up her fist  
with her thumb on the side. "This is the letter 'a'."  
  
Holding up his fist, Mamoru imitated what Usagi had done. "Like this?"  
  
She smiled brightly. "Perfect. Now to 'b.'" She held up her hand again, this time her palm facing  
him with the thumb tucked in. Once again, Mamoru copied her with very little trouble. One by  
one, they went through the entire alphabet, having hardly any problems. Well, almost.  
  
Blowing a stray hair out of her face, Usagi continued to teach Mamoru. Her patience was  
beginning to wear thin, but she refused to let it show. "Here, let me help," she responded finally,  
taking his hand in hers and shaping it to form the letters.  
  
Mamoru slowly brought his other hand up and covered hers. Startled, she looked up to see what  
was the matter. Their gazes met and time seemed to stand still as he explored the depths hidden  
within her dark blue eyes.  
  
"Usagi-chan..." Mamoru whispered, suddenly wanting to say more but she pulled out of his grasp  
and turned away before he got the chance.  
  
"You're making progress, Mamoru-san," Usagi mumbled quietly. "But it's getting late, and I  
should get home. I want to tell my brother all about my day before my dad gets home," she  
sighed, gathering up all her books and shoving them into her backpack. Mamoru shook off the  
strange feeling he felt and walked the opposite way to his apartment.  
  



	4. four

I didn't think I would get this done anytime soon, but thanks to the cheering squad of Stef, Megs,  
Ropa, Kel and Hea-chan, I was able to do it after all. Oh, and for those of you who insisted I  
needed more WAFF in this story, this is the chapter to find it. Enjoy!  
  
Love is Never Silent 4/7  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
"Where's Usagi-chan?" Mamoru asked. Again, she was no where to be seen. In fact, Mamoru  
hadn't seen her since their lesson at the beginning of last week.  
  
"I think she said something about her little brother playing another baseball game this afternoon.  
They're over at the field in Jyuban Park," Minako spouted off, looking strangely at him. "Why so  
curious about Usagi-chan all of a sudden?"  
  
Mamoru didn't answer. He was off in his own little world, thinking that today was his chance to  
finally help Usagi see that he wasn't as bad as she thought. "Jyuban Park, you said? Thanks,  
Minako-chan." And to the surprise of all who knew Mamoru, he dashed out of the arcade and  
down the street towards the park.  
  
Walking among the scattered crowd sitting in the wooden bleachers, Mamoru finally spied Usagi  
standing next to the fence, talking to the coach of one of the baseball teams. As the coach  
returned to the dugout, he came up behind Usagi and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped  
and whirled around, obviously surprised to see Mamoru standing there. "What are you doing  
here?"  
  
"The girls told me you were here, so I thought I'd come over and help you out."  
  
Usagi sighed in exasperation. "I don't understand why you want to be so involved in my life. Just  
a week ago you would rather tease and torment me. Why the sudden change, Mamoru-san?"  
  
He shrugged, not sure how to answer her. "I guess teasing isn't all it's cracked up to be."  
  
"You just figured this out?" Usagi replied dryly. That won a slight smile from her companion.  
"Anyway, thanks for showing up at my brother's baseball game. He needs more than just me for  
a cheering section," she said happily.  
  
"Your parents don't come to the games?"  
  
Usagi shook her head. "Both of them work full time, and since the games are usually in the day,  
it's too hard for them to get away from work. So he's got me," she grinned.  
  
Mamoru couldn't help but smile at her. It had been a while since he had seen Usagi this cheerful.  
"So you finally gave in, ne? I thought you were never going to introduce me to your brother."  
  
She gave him a sideways look. "I didn't give in. I guess I thought it was the right time for you to  
meet him. Believe me, it isn't an easy task."  
  
"So this means you trust me, right?"  
  
"Not by a long shot."

* * *

When the bleachers were nearly empty, Mamoru watched as Usagi came back to sit by him. She  
had been up against the fence for almost the entire game, coaching Shingo through the batting  
order when his coach wasn't around to do it. Even though his team lost the game, she was still  
extremely proud of her little brother.  
  
"C'mon, let's go." Usagi tugged on his arm. Mamoru's eyes widened. "You're actually going to let  
me meet him this time?"  
  
An amused smirk appeared on Usagi's lips. "If I don't you'll only get annoying again."  
  
He quickly grabbed onto Usagi's arm. "I don't know what to say to him."  
  
She smiled reassuringly. "I'll do all the talking for now, until you get in the habit of doing it  
yourself. Besides, Shingo can lip-read. You won't be totally left out."  
  
Mamoru followed her out of the bleachers and over to the dugout where Shingo was putting  
away the last of the batting equipment. Usagi waved to the coach nearby and then tapped her  
brother on the shoulder.  
  
Shingo spun around and grinned when he saw his sister. His hands began to fly as he described  
the details of the game to her.  
  
"It's okay that you didn't win this time, Shingo," she replied, signing and speaking at the same  
time. "I've never seen you hit the ball so far. I bet you'll win the next game." Usagi grinned at him.  
  
Shingo finally noticed Mamoru standing behind his sister. "Who's that?" he asked her, pointing to  
him. Usagi turned and pulled a stiff Mamoru next to her, whispering, "Time to introduce yourself."  
  
"But I don't know how."  
  
Usagi slugged Mamoru in the arm. "Did I teach you all the basics for nothing? Don't forget, he  
lip-reads just as well as he signs. So either way, he'll understand you."  
  
Mamoru nodded weakly, and turned to Shingo, trying his best to remember what he had learned  
in the past few weeks. "My name is Mamoru," he signed awkwardly. "I'm a friend of Usagi's."  
  
The young boy's gaze went from Usagi, then to Mamoru, and back to Usagi again. "Why is he  
here, Usagi?"  
  
"Don't be rude," she signed back. "He's my friend, and he's been wanting to meet you for a while.  
Will you at least say hello to him?"  
  
Shingo looked over at Mamoru again, and finally managed a small smile. "Hello, Mamoru-san,"  
he signed slowly, not sure how he should accept this person. Just because he was a friend to his  
older sister didn't mean he had to like him right away.  
  
"Shingo," Usagi started signing again, "Mamoru-san is going to walk us home, so let him help  
carry some of your equipment."  
  
"But I can do it by myself!" he protested.  
  
Usagi sighed. "I know that, but I don't want him to feel left out. Will you please be nice to him?  
He's not like Papa."  
  
The younger boy sighed. "I guess he can, 'nee-chan. I just don't want him to think I'm weird," he  
finished signing and picked up his bag, thought for a second, then handed it to his sister's friend.  
Mamoru stared blankly at it, took it from Shingo, then looked up at Usagi. "What's going on? I  
didn't catch a lot of that."  
  
Usagi smiled brightly. "You're walking us home, so I thought you'd be willing to help out."  
  
"When did I agree to that?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to object?"  
  
Mamoru flashed her a quirky grin. "Of course not."

* * *

From the corner of his eye, Shingo watched as his sister and her friend talked as they walked  
home. He glanced at both of their mouths and guessed they were talking about her other friends.  
For one small infinite moment, he wished he could join in on the conversation. But his wish went  
unheard, just as it had countless times before.  
  
Looking up from the sidewalk, Shingo tugged on Usagi's sleeve to let her know they were home.  
Usagi smiled then signed, "Papa's not home yet, so why don't you go in and tell Mama about your  
day?" The younger boy nodded, took his bag from Mamoru's grasp and went inside the house,  
leaving Usagi and Mamoru alone on the front lawn.  
  
"I don't think he likes me very much," Mamoru confirmed.  
  
Usagi shook her head. "He just doesn't know you yet, so he doesn't know how he should act.  
Don't worry, this happens with most new people." She sat down on the grass, letting the cool  
breeze play with her long blonde hair. "I love this time of year. There won't be many more days  
like this," Usagi sighed, laying on the ground. Mamoru also laid back on the grass and started  
picking at the long green blades. He liked these kinds of times where he could just enjoy Usagi's  
company. Sometimes the silence spoke more than words ever could.  
  
He rolled over on his side and noticed Usagi's eyes were closed. With a sly grin, Mamoru picked  
a handful of grass and started sprinkling it on Usagi's face, waking her up instantly. "What was  
that for?" she protested, blowing the tickling blades out of her face.  
  
He smiled. "You looked so peaceful there, I didn't know any other way to wake you up."  
  
"A simple 'wake up' would have been just fine," she retorted, throwing the grass back at him. He  
chuckled at her feigned anger and threw more grass at her.  
  
Usagi yelped from suddenly being attacked. "All right, you asked for it!" She grabbed her own  
handfuls of grass and flung them at Mamoru. He threw his and her handfuls combined until they  
were both coated with hundreds of grass blades and laughing hysterically.  
  
In the midst of their grass war, Shingo suddenly came back outside, carrying two mitts and a  
baseball. Covered in grass, Usagi sat up and grinned at her little brother, though she couldn't stop  
laughing. "Want to join in the fun?" she signed to Shingo. He smiled and shook his head.  
Dropping the mitts on the ground, he signed back, "I thought you'd like to help me with my pitching."  
  
"Of course!" Usagi jumped up and brushed all the loose grass off of her, most of it falling onto  
Mamoru. She grabbed one of the mitts and waited for Shingo to throw the ball to her. The  
younger boy pulled back, and threw the baseball in a high curve, which Usagi had to jump to  
catch it. "Good throw!" she yelled and signed to her brother.  
  
Just as she was about to throw the ball back, a hand from behind stopped her. Usagi turned  
around to find Mamoru's hand around her wrist and a small smile on his face. "Mind if I take  
over?"  
  
"Sure, if you think you can handle Shingo's pitches. He's got a wild arm," she grinned.  
  
He took the mitt from her. "I think I can handle it." Looking over to Shingo on the other side of  
the yard, he signed, "Is it okay if I play too?" The younger boy stood there for a moment,  
nodded, then bent down waiting for Mamoru to throw the ball back.  
  
With a grin, Mamoru wound up, threw the ball back with a side curve, and Shingo caught it  
smoothly. Usagi stood off to the sides, impressed that they were getting along so well. She  
laughed when Mamoru missed the ball not just once, but three times in a row.  
  
As they were enjoying their little game, a car pulled into the driveway, and after a few moments, a  
man in his mid 40s stepped out. He looked over at Usagi and then to Shingo. Usagi spoke first.  
"Hello, Papa. How was your day?"  
  
"Long as usual," he replied. Then Kenji caught sight of the young man standing next to his  
daughter. "And who is that?"  
  
Usagi motioned to Mamoru. "This is Chiba Mamoru, Papa. He walked Shingo and I home today  
after the baseball game."  
  
Kenji grunted slightly, then turned to his son. "Time to come inside, Shingo. It's getting cold."  
Usagi started to sign to her brother what her father said to him, but before she could, Kenji  
stopped her. "He's twelve years old, Usagi. He can answer for himself." By this time Shingo had  
turned around to face his father, and Kenji repeated himself. "Okay, Papa," Shingo replied, his  
voice scratchy and hollow sounding. It was the first time Mamoru heard the boy use his voice,  
and he could tell Shingo wasn't very happy about it.  
  
As Shingo started to follow his father inside, Mamoru quickly tapped him on the shoulder and  
signed, "You make a great baseball player." The younger boy beamed before disappearing into  
the house.  
  
Turning back to Usagi, he commented, "So that's your father?"  
  
Usagi nodded glumly. "I hoped he wouldn't act like that in front of you, but that's how he usually  
is. And Shingo isn't really in a position to stand up to him either."  
  
"But at least he looked happy when I told him he makes an awesome baseball player. He was  
grinning from ear to ear."  
  
Usagi stared at Mamoru, a warm smile gracing her features. "I've never seen anyone make  
Shingo smile like that. How do you do it?"  
  
He noted that this was one of the few times Usagi smiled at him. Somehow, he had to make her  
do that more often. "I just want to be Shingo's friend, Usagi. This world isn't as bad as you think.  
We all have our dark days but that's when the good days mean so much more." Mamoru ran a  
hand through his hair, embarrassed for talking so much. "I want to be your friend too,  
Usagi-chan."  
  
She smiled again and shook her head lightly. "And I used to think you were such a jerk. This is  
another side of you that I've never seen, Mamoru-san. Why is that?"  
  
He shrugged. "Most people don't ask. I once had my own problems that never seemed to end.  
But I knew I couldn't give up, because that would mean they won." Mamoru slid an arm around  
Usagi's shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. "Even though it's not your problem, I can see  
that you're affected by whatever happens to your little brother," he continued. "So I guess what  
I'm trying to say is that I want to be there for you like you're there for Shingo."  
  
Usagi's eyes widened and a small gasp escaped from her lips. Tears shone in her eyes as she  
threw her arms around Mamoru, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Mamoru-san," she said softly.  
His arms came up and slipped slowly around her waist. Deep in his heart he wished he could hold  
her like this forever.  
  
"I don't like the way he's holding her," Kenji growled as he peeked through the curtains.  
  
Ikuko came into the room and pulled her husband away from the window. "You have nothing to  
worry about, Kenji. I've never seen her as happy as she is now. Haven't you noticed a  
difference?"  
  
A deep scowl appeared on his face and he sighed. "I suppose you're right, Usagi does seem  
happier. But I still don't like it."  
  
Ikuko chuckled. "You don't like it because she's growing up and there's nothing you can do about  
it." Laying a hand on Kenji's arm, she turned him around and snuggled into her husband's  
embrace. "I couldn't be more pleased if something happened between Usagi and Mamoru-san.  
He's just what she needs."  
  
"How can you tell?"  
  
"Because I'm her mother."  
  



	5. five

Love is Never Silent 5/7  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
They were walking home from the ice cream parlor, celebrating Shingo's latest baseball victory as  
well as the warm autumn day. "Didn't Shingo play great today?" Usagi beamed, taking small bites  
of her ice cream as they walked to her house.  
  
Mamoru couldn't help but smile back at her. Her countenance had changed so much in just the  
last few weeks... it was like being around an entirely new person. She was cheerful before, but  
that was only on the outside. Now he was starting to see the smile light up her eyes, something  
that had been missing before.  
  
"Of course he did, Usagi-chan. He loves to play, and he puts his whole heart and soul into it."  
  
She nodded, then her smile fell a little. "But... I wish Papa would come to at least one game. He  
keeps promising he will, but then something always comes up. The games on the weekend don't  
even interfere with his work. But he always seems to have an excuse." Usagi sighed. "That's just  
the way my father is. Nothing short of a miracle will make him change his ways. But sometimes I  
just wish he would at least try to learn to sign to Shingo. He's his only son, isn't that good enough  
reason to talk to him?"  
  
Mamoru stopped and looked Usagi in the eyes. "Don't you think you're being a little too serious  
about all this, Usagi-chan? You need to lighten up a little."  
  
She stared at Mamoru with cold eyes. "Lighten up? Do you know what you're asking of me? All  
my life, I have had to push myself to the limit, to do better than what was expected of me so I  
wouldn't be a burden to anyone, especially to my parents. They already had my brother to worry  
about, so if I slacked off at all, it would just add more stress to their lives. So I'm sorry if you  
think I'm too serious. I've had to be serious my whole life." Usagi turned and fled into her house  
without letting Mamoru get in another word.  
  
Shingo was at the door when Usagi ran inside sobbing. The teenager took one look at the  
retreating form of his sister, then to Mamoru who was still standing outside, and suddenly charged  
out the door, screaming and furiously signing at Mamoru.  
  
"Shingo, slow down please," Mamoru signed and spoke at the same time. "What did I do?" His  
answer was clear as Shingo signed and moved his lips. "You made my sister cry."  
  
The door then shut in Mamoru's face. He tried to get a glimpse of Usagi through the window, but  
with no luck. He cursed himself as he walked away, that with one stupid comment he had just  
destroyed the greatest thing to ever happen to him.

* * *

Mamoru paced back and forth in the break room behind Crown's Fruit Parlor. She was out  
there, talking with her friends. On his way in, he had tried hard not to notice Usagi, but out of  
force of habit, he looked her way just as she looked up into his gaze. That had been a very  
awkward moment, and he retreated quickly into the back room where he didn't have to look at  
her.  
  
He needed to talk to her, apologize for the stupid things he said the other day. Usagi trusted him,  
believed in him, and with one stupid comment, he had betrayed her.  
  
Not only did he hurt her, but he remembered the hurt in Shingo's eyes all too clearly. The younger  
boy meant as much to him as Usagi did. Mamoru shook his head. Regaining both their trust  
would be much harder than ever before.  
  
Just as he stepped towards the door leading out into the arcade, a thought came to him. Why not  
just go to Shingo first, apologize to him, letting the word get back to Usagi that he wasn't such a  
jerk after all? Then Mamoru shook his head. That was too easy, almost as if Usagi could predict  
that move. If he didn't work out his mistakes with Usagi first, Mamoru knew he was headed in  
the wrong direction.  
  
Gathering up all the self-confidence he had left, Mamoru strode out into the cafe, his eyes set  
directly on his target. Usagi and her friends sat in the corner booth, slurping away at milkshakes  
and giggling over the latest news from school. Even from the other side of the room, he could tell  
Usagi was not her cheerful self.  
  
He cleared his throat and walked towards the booth, paying no attention to the icy stares Makoto  
and Rei shot in his direction. His business was not with them, only a certain blonde odangoed  
companion of theirs.  
  
"Usagi, we need to talk," Mamoru muttered quietly, laying a hand on her arm.  
  
At first Usagi jumped, then she looked up at him, her eyes blank with emotion. "I have nothing to  
say to you, Mamoru-san."  
  
"Oh, but I have something to say to you," he replied. He pulled on her arm firmly, dragging her  
out from the booth and brought her to stand in front of him. "Let's go someplace private to talk  
about this."  
  
Usagi tried jerking her arm away, but couldn't get out of his strong hold. "I don't have to go  
anywhere with you."  
  
"If you want to hear what I have to say, then yes you do." He took her back into the room where  
he had been pacing minutes earlier and shut the door behind him. As he turned back around,  
Usagi just stared at him, her face devoid of all expression. "Whatever it is you have to say, say it  
so I can leave."  
  
Mamoru sighed in exasperation. "Darn it Usagi! Why do you have to make everything so  
difficult!"  
  
"You weren't the one dragged in here against your will!" she yelled back.  
  
"Usagi, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what I said earlier." He reached out to touch her  
arm, but she shrank away from him.  
  
"I don't want you coming near me. You acted all nice, trying to win me over, but you're just like  
everyone else! I thought I could trust you. Saying 'sorry' just doesn't cut it anymore." She turned  
to face the wall so he wouldn't see her crying.  
  
He heaved a huge sigh. "You're right, Usagi. I said something stupid, and made you doubt my  
trust. If I could, I would take those words back a thousand times because you deserve far better  
than that."  
  
"How do you expect me to believe that?" she said bitterly.  
  
"I don't know," Mamoru replied sadly. "That's something you'll have to think about. Even if some  
of the things I said were true, I didn't mean them in the way I said them."  
  
Usagi whipped around, tears streaming down her face. "What do you mean, some of them were  
true? For as long as I can remember, I have been expected to change and conform to whatever  
people wanted me to do. When I was old enough, I finally was able to make choices for myself.  
And now you dare to stand there and tell me that I need to change?"  
  
He shook his head slightly. "When I said you needed to lighten up, I didn't mean I wanted you to  
change. You keep looking at the pessimistic side of everything, like everyone is out to get you  
and your brother. I don't know how you get along so well with those girls out there if this is how  
you really act."  
  
Usagi's eyes widened as if he had struck a tender nerve. "They don't know this side of me.  
They've never even met Shingo. They don't know what my life is really like at home."  
  
"So what you're doing out there is pretending that life is all happy and fuzzy, while you proceed to  
bite my head off during the other hours of the day?"  
  
"You know me better than they do!" she cried out suddenly. "I don't know how you did it, but  
you worked your way into my life before I could stop you."  
  
A small smile crept onto Mamoru's face. "I was beginning to wonder about that too. How in the  
world did I, Chiba Mamoru, first class jerk, needle my way into to Tsukino Usagi's life?" he  
commented, walking closer to the odangoed girl leaning against the wall.  
  
That won a tiny smile from her. "I don't know," she said softly, "no one else has ever done that to  
me before."  
  
"Done what?" Mamoru replied, his voice just louder than a whisper.  
  
"Get to truly know me, that someone outside of my family cared about me. Everyone just  
assumes that I'm loud, reckless, and a klutz." She didn't look up at him, afraid to see the look  
on his face.  
  
Mamoru placed both of his hands on Usagi's shoulders, pulling the girl into his strong embrace. "I  
hope you'll forgive me someday for being such a jerk," he mumbled, burying his face in her sweet  
smelling hair. Holding Usagi so tenderly like this felt so... right. Like there was no other place he  
could be at this moment and feel so at peace.  
  
"Who's to say that I haven't already forgiven you?" Usagi replied through her sniffles.  
  
Mamoru pulled away and looked down at her, eyebrows raised in surprise. "So what was that  
big tantrum for just now?"  
  
She giggled lightly. "Because I had to see if you could handle it." He opened his mouth to retort,  
but then thought better of it. Bringing his fingers up, he slowly wiped away the trails of tears on  
her cheeks and cupped her warm face with his gentle hands. "I never wanted to make you cry,  
Usagi." Tilting his head slightly, Mamoru leaned in and delicately kissed her on the cheek.  
  
As he pulled away, her eyes widened in surprise. "What was that for?" her voice barely above a  
whisper.  
  
"I guess I wanted to make you feel better."  
  
"Oh." Usagi fixed her gaze on the floor, intently studying her shoes. Mamoru stared at her  
lowered head, wondering what he had done wrong now. "Usa..." he whispered, sliding a hand  
beneath her chin to raise her head. His eyes locked with hers, and for a moment he stood in  
silence, unable to say anything.  
  
She attempted a quivering smile and that was all Mamoru needed. Pulling Usagi close to him  
again, he brushed his lips gently over hers once, then captured her sweetness more fully as she  
leaned into him, his arms the only thing holding her body from falling as she fell into his dizzying  
spell.  
  
Finally they pulled away, breathless and flushed. "What just happened?" Usagi asked, feeling the  
warmth creep up her cheeks. Mamoru smiled tenderly down at her. "I think that's what they call  
making up."  
  
She giggled. "And that's supposed to count for all the times we've fought?" Mamoru raised his  
eyebrows in amusement, then ran a hand through one of her silky ponytails. "If you're asking to  
make up for all of that, then I have no objections." He leaned down and willingly kissed her again,  
meeting her halfway.  
  
"You know," she started again after they broke apart the second time, "maybe we should save  
this for later. It wouldn't do any good if we made up all at once."  
  
Mamoru chuckled loudly. "And I'd better get you back to your friends. No doubt they're  
wondering if we've killed each other by now."  
  
Sure enough, Rei, Ami, Makoto and Minako all gathered around Usagi moments after she and  
Mamoru came out of the back room. "Is everything all right?" Rei asked, still throwing an evil  
glare in Mamoru's direction. "We were beginning to worry about you, Usagi."  
  
Usagi gave them all a reassuring smile. "Everything's fine. Mamoru-san and I needed to talk over  
a lot of things. But that's all cleared up," she replied, smiling at Mamoru.  
  
"Are you feeling okay, Usagi-chan?" Ami asked. "You look a little flushed."  
  
Usagi's eyes widened and Mamoru stifled a laugh. "I'm fine, Ami-chan. I think after all that yelling  
and being in that little room, I could use some fresh air."  
  
The others agreed to go to the park across the street. Mamoru turned to say goodbye to Motoki,  
who was on the phone, listening intently. It looked pretty serious, so he waited until his friend  
was finished.  
  
Motoki hung up the phone and looked at Usagi solemnly. "That was your mother, Usagi-chan.  
She needs you to come home right away."  
  
"You look so serious, Motoki-onii-san. What did she say?"  
  
"Your brother's been in an accident." 


	6. six

Love is Never Silent 6/7  
by Elysia  
PG  
  
The rain consumed her. Every drop from heaven that fell to the earth mirrored tears that everyone  
around her shed. The downpour hadn't stopped for the last three days, not since that horrible  
day. Usagi knew that heaven was weeping for her, but it wasn't enough to comfort her sorrow.  
She stared out the window in silence, staring through the rain at nothing.  
  
The house was quiet now, almost too quiet for Usagi's tastes. Her room felt like a tomb, nowhere  
to go and no way out. She felt trapped within her own thoughts.  
  
A gentle knock rapped on her door, and Ikuko stuck her head into the room. "Usagi," she said  
quietly, "it's time to go." The blonde girl nodded slightly, then turning away from the window, she  
followed her mother downstairs.  
  
No matter how hard Usagi tried, she couldn't forget the events of the previous three days. In that  
short amount of time the world that she had known for sixteen years was shattered beyond repair.

* * *

"Mama!" Usagi cried out in worry as she entered the house, dashing from room to room.  
"Mama? I ran home the moment Motoki-onii-san told me you called. What happened? Where's  
Shingo?"  
  
Ikuko sat in the kitchen, staring blankly at the table. Usagi slowly walked towards her mother,  
afraid to see her like this. "Mama? What is it? What's wrong?"  
  
"It happened all so fast," Ikuko mumbled softly. "One moment, Shingo was outside practicing his  
batting, and the next moment, I heard tires screeching to a stop. I didn't think twice about it until I  
heard Shingo scream. The very sound of it sent chills down my spine." She shook her head and  
looked solemnly at her daughter. "I couldn't get there in time to get him out of the way. Your  
father called for the ambulance and they quickly took him to the hospital. I told them I would wait  
here for you and then we would follow."  
  
Usagi nodded and gently placed a hand on her mother's arm. "He'll be okay, Mama. He'll pull  
through this. Shingo's got a strong spirit."  
  
Ikuko's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you, Usagi-chan. You are my strength."  
  
Usagi watched her father pace back and forth in the hallway, waiting for something, anything that  
would tell them of Shingo's condition.  
  
"Papa, please sit down. You're making us all nervous," Usagi begged him while holding her  
mother's hand tightly in hers.  
  
"Tsukino-san?" The doctor suddenly came through the swinging door. Kenji, Ikuko and Usagi all  
looked up at once. "How is he?" Ikuko burst out first.  
  
The doctor shook his head. "Shingo-kun's injuries are far more severe than we initially thought.  
He's in a coma now. We're not even sure if he'll make it through the night."  
  
Ikuko choked back a sob and Usagi clung tightly to her mother. Through hooded eyes, Kenji  
asked, "May we see him?"  
  
At first the doctor began to shake his head, but seeing the pleading looks on the family's faces, he  
relented. "I suppose I can allow you into the ICU, but only one at a time."  
  
Usagi felt her mother tug on her arm. "You go first, sweetheart." The blonde girl swallowed hard  
and nodded. Following the doctor through the doors to the ICU, she could feel the tears well up,  
but she just couldn't bring herself to cry, no matter how much she wanted to. Shingo was going to  
recover, she assured herself. He just had to.  
  
"You might be startled at first by his appearance," the doctor interrupted her thoughts. "Most of it  
is tubes and wires, so you needn't be afraid." As he led Usagi into the barren antiseptic room, he  
added, "But talk to him like you normally do. It will help him to hear your voice."  
  
Usagi laughed bitterly to herself. Apparently the doctor had no idea of Shingo's hearing loss, nor  
was she about to inform him of it.  
  
"You've got ten minutes. I wish I could give you longer, but I'm already bending the rules for you  
to be in here at all." The doctor left the room with no more words spoken, and Usagi finally  
relaxed. Turning to her unconscious brother, she sighed. "I know you can't hear me, Shingo, but  
maybe you know I'm here." She slipped her hand into his limp one, gripping it tightly.  
  
"I need you, Shingo. I don't think I could bear to live without you. You've been my strength for so  
long, I'm not sure how to do anything without you. If only I had been there, I would have kept  
you out of the way of that car. It should have been me to get hit, not you. You're too good for  
something like this to happen to you." She leaned over, laying her head on the stiff cotton blanket.  
"It should have been me."  
  
A sudden cough from the doorway startled Usagi. Jumping out of the chair, she turned to see her  
father had entered the room. She looked back once more at her brother, and allowed a slight  
smile to appear. "My time's up, Shingo. I just hope yours isn't yet."

* * *

Now here they stood on a dismal Sunday afternoon in the rain. Usagi switched from foot to foot,  
sinking into the soggy grass each time she shifted her weight. The makeshift cover over the small  
gathering of family and close friends was no help either. Everyone was getting wet in one way or  
another.  
  
The dress she wore scratched her and was getting too short at the hem. The last time Usagi wore  
the old dress was four years ago at the funeral of a great aunt on her father's side of the family.  
She couldn't remember it very well now, except the fact that the older boy cousins chased Shingo  
around until she beat them up. A tiny smile tugged at her lips as she recalled that memory.  
  
She needed something--anything!-- to keep her mind off the flower laden casket that sat before  
her now, the hollow wooden box that held the body of her beloved brother. Still, no tears  
escaped one Tsukino Usagi. She was too in shock to mourn her family's loss. Her loss. She had  
dedicated most of her life caring for Shingo.  
  
Usagi glanced at her father standing just a few feet away. Tears streamed down Kenji's cheeks as  
he listened to the eulogy for his only son. This was a side to her father rarely seen. Maybe she  
had mistaken her father all this time. He wasn't really strict or overbearing, he just didn't  
understand why his son had to be the different one. The pain and sorrow of it all were evident on  
his face.  
  
'But I'm still here, Papa... will you ever love me as much as you loved Shingo? I may not be a  
boy, but I am still your child... and someday, I hope I will make you proud.' If only Usagi had the  
courage to say such things to her father... but this was neither the time nor place for such words.  
Maybe someday she would let him know how she felt.  
  
The time had come. Usagi never thought she would say goodbye to her brother so soon.  
Stepping forward in the squishy grass, she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer, then laid two  
fresh lilies on the casket. The flowers were special because she and Shingo had planted them one  
year in the garden. It was only fitting to take them with him.  
  
"Thank you for everything, Shingo. I will never forget the unconditional love you showed  
everyone. I love you, little brother," she whispered in the cascading rain.  
  
Usagi didn't budge from her room the following day. The rain continued to pour and she didn't  
feel like going to school and facing all her friends. None of them knew what had happened, and  
now wasn't a good time for Usagi to remember it all when it was so fresh. Her mother remained  
downstairs, taking out her grief by cleaning or baking up a storm. But not even the temptation of  
her mother's cooking could coax her from her spot. But staring out the window didn't help her  
situation. She turned towards her door, wondering if she could help her mother in some small  
way.  
  
As Usagi left her room, she passed by the closed door to Shingo's room. Ikuko closed it two  
nights ago because she still couldn't bear to pass by it without crying. Now Usagi stood in front of  
it, staring at the dark wood that had quickly become a barrier to past memories.  
  
Something inside unexpectedly made her grab the knob and twist it to open the door into the dim  
room. Everything was neat and in its place, looking nothing like Shingo's room before.  
  
Usagi walked around the perimeter of the room, letting the feel of the textured walls and things  
hanging on it run beneath her fingers. She stopped and stood at the foot of the bed, gazing down  
upon it solemnly. Shingo's worn out baseball glove lay at the head of the bed, a brand new  
baseball nestled inside.  
  
A slight smile came to her face as she reached over and picked up the worn glove in her hands.  
Shingo loved this mitt. Night after night he would condition it and check the lacing to make sure  
all was right for his next game.  
  
He wasn't coming back.  
  
Clutching the mitt tightly to her chest, Usagi collapsed on the bed, sobbing painfully. The reality of  
it all finally struck her, and she let the tears come freely. She would never see him sprint through  
the house, smiling brightly with his mitt tucked under his arm. She would never watch his hands fly  
as he described the exciting moments of a game.  
  
He wasn't coming back.  
  
Through her tears, Usagi slid a hand under a pillow and found a small, flat object beneath it.  
Puzzled, she pulled it out and stared at it, finally recognizing it to be the notebook Shingo had  
been carrying around with him the last few weeks. Curious, she flipped it open to the last entry in  
the book, which turned out to the only entry written in it. What she found surprised her.  
  
At the end, when I lay sleeping,  
will I see your smiling face in heaven?  
If I could, I would take it with me and keep it close to my heart.  
  
Do not cry for me, for I am happy though I'm no longer there.  
I look forward to days when you are with me,  
and I will hear your joyful laughter.  
  
Usagi looked up from the book in shock. How had Shingo known that this was going to happen?  
It was an accident, there was no way he could have seen it coming.  
  
A tiny smile graced her lips through her sorrow. Shingo was too innocent to stay here for very  
long. Even though she felt like she needed him more, she knew that his unconditional love was  
needed elsewhere. And though her heartache was more than she could bear, that one little  
thought was enough to help her accept the loss of her little brother.  
  



	7. seven

Many thanks to everyone responsible for giving me inspiration, confidence, and yes, even death  
threats. ...Stef & Lelu... Also, many many thanks to the ladies in the chat room who were kind  
enough to be my last minute betas.  
  
Love is Never Silent 7/7  
by Elysia  
rated PG  
  
"Mamoru-san, it's good to see you."  
  
"How are you holding up, Ikuko-san? I know these past few weeks have been difficult for you."  
  
Ikuko nodded solemnly at the young man at the door. "Some days I don't know what to do with  
myself. I've cleaned this house from top to bottom so much that there's nothing left to clean. I was  
so used to devoting my time to Shingo that I feel useless without something to occupy my time."  
  
Mamoru gazed silently at the tiny yet strong woman. She had already been through so much.  
"And what of your husband?"  
  
"Kenji doesn't change. He puts long hours in at work and comes home late as usual. But  
something has changed recently, and I only started to notice it. He isn't as cross as he used to be.  
But he doesn't really speak much either. I know things will never be the same with all of us."  
  
Laying a gentle hand on Ikuko's shoulder, Mamoru replied, "No, things won't be the same  
because you can never forget Shingo. You shouldn't forget him. But life has to go on eventually."  
  
Ikuko's eyes welled up with tears. "How did you ever learn to be so strong, Mamoru-san?"  
  
He smiled sadly. "I've lost important people in my life too, but that doesn't mean I have to dwell in  
the past forever." Glancing up at the stairs, he asked, "Is Usagi-chan home?"  
  
She nodded. "She finally started going back to school these past few days, but she doesn't stay  
out with her friends like she used to. I'm starting to worry about her."  
  
"Would it be all right if I went up and talked to her?"  
  
Ikuko put on a brave smile. "I was hoping you would. You seem to be the only one to get  
through to her." She ushered Mamoru up the stairs, hoping that all would be right with her  
daughter soon.

* * *

"Usagi-chan?" Mamoru called out while tapping on her door. When he received no answer, he  
leaned on the handle and surprisingly found the door slightly ajar. He slipped into the room and  
quietly observed his surroundings. The room was decorated in mostly pink, a little too pink for his  
tastes, but it seemed to suit Usagi perfectly.  
  
She sat on the window seat, a pillow between her hands and her gaze fixed somewhere outside.  
She didn't seem to acknowledge Mamoru's presence at all.  
  
"Usagi-chan?" he repeated, hoping for some sort of answer. She didn't look at him.  
  
"It stopped raining," came her reply. At first Mamoru didn't understand. "It stopped this morning,  
but the sun hasn't come out yet."  
  
"It's not ready to show its warmth after pouring out all those tears."  
  
Mamoru sighed and leaned on Usagi's bed. "Look, Usagi-chan, I know this is a very hard time  
for you, and I know how--"  
  
She only clutched the pillow tighter. "Don't you dare. Don't even say it," she cut him off. "When I  
went to school today, the news had finally gotten around and all I got were looks of pity. People  
who were brave enough to approach me said those same words, 'I know how you feel.' I don't  
want to hear that from you. I can't stand to hear those words from someone who has no idea  
how I feel. I stood there and watched him be put into that dark hole in the ground. Do you know  
how hard it was to do that?"  
  
"Not first hand, but I watched it happen. I was at the funeral, Usagi-chan. As Shingo's friend I felt  
I had a right to be there. So I do know how you feel, Usagi-chan," he shot back.  
  
"He was my brother, my best friend!" she burst out. "I took care of him from the day he was born  
and you only knew him for a matter of months. How can you say you know how I feel?"  
  
In a moment of fury, Mamoru stormed over to Usagi and wrenched the pillow from her hands.  
She looked up at him with widened eyes. "You don't know the first thing about me either,  
Usagi-chan. You're not the only one who's ever lost a loved one, so don't accuse me of not  
knowing how it feels. You can't sit here for the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself." He  
dropped the pillow to the floor. "You have no idea how much it hurts to lose the only people  
who have ever loved you. And if that's not good enough, losing all your memories of their  
love is even more heartbreaking. So don't go accusing me of having no feelings, because I've  
lost more than you ever have."  
  
Usagi just stared at him, and Mamoru ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed at his outburst. "I  
lost Shingo too. But I can't lose you."  
  
"How can you lose something you never had?"  
  
Mamoru reeled from her reply. "How can you say that, Usagi-chan? I thought after all we've  
been through together, you would at least consider us friends, if not something more."  
  
"More?"  
  
"Didn't that day at the arcade mean anything to you?"  
  
Usagi turned her gaze back outside again. "We were both caught up in the moment,  
Mamoru-san. I don't think either of us meant what happened that day."  
  
Suddenly Mamoru kneeled on the window seat, much to Usagi's surprise. When she tried to look  
away, he caught her face between his hands and forced her to look at him. "I don't believe that  
for one minute, Tsukino Usagi," he hissed lowly. "Look me in the eye and tell me that day meant  
nothing to you."  
  
"I--" She stared at him intently and tears came to her eyes, but no words left her lips. Eyes  
shining, she whispered, "I thought I could, but I'd be lying to myself. Why do you always have to  
be right, Mamoru-san?"  
  
He cracked a smile. "Must be one of my better qualities." A giggle escaped from Usagi, the most  
wonderful sound Mamoru had heard in a long time. Gathering Usagi into a fierce embrace, he  
choked back a sob, somewhat surprised that his emotions were getting the better of him. "This is  
what I meant by losing you, Usagi. If I never heard your sweet laughter or saw your beautiful  
smile again, I don't know what I'd do."  
  
Usagi bit her lip, fighting back the tears. "How is it that you notice the things no one else ever  
does?"  
  
Fingering her silky blond strands, Mamoru brought his other hand up to wipe away the few tears  
that had escaped from her eyes. "I told you once you needed to cry more often." Usagi's face  
crumpled and she rushed back into Mamoru's arms, burying her face in his shirt. He held her  
tightly as sobs racked her entire body, releasing all her pain and sorrow.  
  
He held onto her tightly and stroked her long hair as she cried. "I hate it when you shut me out,  
Usa," he murmured. "I feel so helpless when you don't talk to me."  
  
"I never really depended on someone before," she replied in between sobs. "Everyone always  
depended on me to pull through whatever came along. I had to be strong, even in front of my  
friends. You were the first one to notice that something was different. Why?"  
  
Mamoru ran a hand through his thick dark hair. "You're not the only one to ever have problems,  
Usa. I lost both my parents when I was very young. The former Chiba Mamoru died that day,  
and from then on I had to learn how to survive all alone. You're lucky you have a loving family to  
support you, even if times are difficult right now."  
  
He sighed softly, placing a hand alongside Usagi's delicate face. "When I saw you that night at the  
bridge, it was if I was seeing a completely different Usagi-chan, not the usual Odango I was so  
used to teasing. I suddenly became more aware of you. I can't really explain it."  
  
Tears trickled down her cheeks again. "Mamoru-san... I don't know how you did it, but you  
know my thoughts and my dreams. You know my heart."  
  
His face broke into a big grin. "I've wanted to hear something like that from you for the longest  
time," he replied, pulling Usagi tightly into his embrace. She snuggled against his neck and he  
could feel her warm breath tickle his skin. The emotions buried deep inside began to set him on  
fire. How could one girl do so much to him?  
  
Pulling back slightly, Mamoru gazed longingly at Usagi, memorizing every feature of her face. She  
stared at him quizzically. "Is something the matter?"  
  
He said nothing, just continued to stare at her. "Forgive me Usa, but if I don't do this now, then  
I'll never get the courage to do it again."  
  
"Do wha--" but her words were cut off by Mamoru leaning in and covering her sweet lips with his  
own. This was different than the day at the arcade, and Mamoru knew it. That day something  
strange had come over the both of them, like Usagi said. But today, Mamoru was sure of  
everything. He knew exactly what he wanted, and this time, he planned on getting it.  
  
Suddenly Usagi pulled away, her eyes filled with uncertainty. "Why did you do that,  
Mamoru-san?" For a moment he was disappointed. Could she possibly not want any of his  
affections after all? Was he reading into this more than she was? "Sorry, Usa-chan," he mumbled  
sadly. I just thought that--"  
  
She cut him off by placing her hand over his mouth and looking him squarely in the eye. "Don't  
kiss me unless you mean it," she whispered slyly and leaned up to kiss him back fully.  
  
Disappointment was the farthest thing from Mamoru's mind as Usagi's soul slammed into his,  
feeling every ounce of emotion and passion that she poured into him. And at that same moment,  
with the little golden child in his arms and she being the one to kiss the life out of him, he had  
never felt more complete.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready to do this, Usa?"  
  
Usagi grinned as she walked along the path with Mamoru. "It's time I pay my little brother a fitting  
tribute, don't you think? And who better to join me than everyone I love the most?"  
  
Mamoru slipped an arm around her and smiled. "I can't think of anything better."  
  
As they reached the middle of the park, Usagi turned around to face the four other girls walking  
closely behind and started to announce her plans. "I asked you to come with me today in order  
for me to help celebrate the life of a very important person to me. Even though most of you never  
really got to know Shingo, you at least know how much he meant to me. And today, I'm going to  
let him know that I care."  
  
She dropped the bag she had been carrying on her shoulder, opened it, and handed each person  
a baseball glove. "Today's game is all for Shingo."  
  
Minako looked down at her glove, then back at Usagi. "So it doesn't matter if we're completely  
and utterly uncoordinated at certain sports? Volleyball is my area, not baseball."  
  
The other girls giggled. "Don't worry, Minako-chan," Ami assured her. "We're not playing to  
win this time."  
  
"Thanks, everyone," Usagi replied softly. "This really means a lot to me." Mamoru put his arms  
around Usagi to comfort her.  
  
Makoto noticed this and pointed it out. "Ne, when did you two get so friendly?"  
  
Usagi blushed deeply. "Ehhh, we'll talk about that later. We're here to have fun!" The others  
cheered and spread out on the field.  
  
Mamoru moved to take his position as catcher, but Usagi caught his arm before he got too far  
away. "I want you to have this glove, Mamo-chan," she whispered softly.  
  
He looked at the glove she held out to him. "But this is Shingo's glove."  
  
"I know. That's why I want you to use it. He really looked up to you."  
  
He fingered the well-oiled mitt gently, then looked back at Usagi and smiled. "I think I looked up  
to him more than he did me." He ran a hand through one of Usagi's ponytails, then bent over and  
kissed her cheek. She blushed deeply again. "Mamo-chan..."  
  
"Will you two quit your schmacking and start the game?" came a voice from center field and the  
others laughed loudly. Usagi stepped up to the pitcher's mound and Mamoru took his place as  
catcher. "This one is for Shingo," he mouthed and Usagi nodded. She drew her arm back and  
prepared to throw the first pitch.  
  
Sometime during the fourth 'inning,' Mamoru stretched his long, lanky body and happened to turn  
towards the bleachers. Noticing a person leaning over on the other end of the stands, he squinted  
to see who it was. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Usa-chan!" He yelled to get her attention.  
  
Usagi whipped around at the sound of Mamoru's voice, and she jogged over to where he was  
standing. "What is it, Mamo-chan?"  
  
Pointing over to the bleachers, Mamoru showed her the person sitting alone at the top. "Is that  
who I think it is?" Usagi squinted. Then she grinned and broke into a run, yelling "PAPA!" at the  
top of her lungs. Mamoru sprinted after her, wanting to know what was going on.  
  
Kenji made his way down from the bleachers as Usagi and Mamoru caught up to him. "Papa,  
shouldn't you be at work? What are you doing all the way over here?"  
  
He stared at his daughter, then sighed deeply. "I... that is, your mother... she told me you were  
over here and what you were doing. I thought about it and... well, I... I wanted to be part of it."  
  
Usagi's mouth dropped open and Mamoru just stared at the forlorn looking man. "Do you really  
mean that, Papa?"  
  
Kenji hesitated momentarily, then nodded. "Shingo was my son. I want to pay tribute to him too."  
Usagi burst into tears and flung her arms around her father, and to her surprise he returned the  
gesture. "Thank you, Papa. Shingo would be very proud of you right now."  
  
Taking her father's hand in hers, then grabbing Mamoru's hand with her other, the three of them  
walked back towards the field to continue their loving tribute to their son, brother and friend.

* * *

Owari...  
  
brainstormed October 1999  
completed February 2001 


End file.
